July 2011
Jerry Jones "State of The Cowboys" Media Address Goes Horribly Wrong, Hundreds of Words and Phrases Mangled
Dateline: Dallas, TX
Following what seemed like a victory for the NFL, with the lock-out over and teams getting back to the normality of the preseason, league officials nationwide are taking a stand against the grammar massacre delivered Tuesday by Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones.
lol, sports
Completely Legitimate News: Researcher Who Found That Being Aware of Other People Leads to Better Life Killed by Inattentive Truck Driver →
legitimatenews.tumblr.com
Pictured: Not the accident in question.
Dateline: Springfield, MO
Tragedy struck Springfield earlier today when Scott Wilborne, a Sociology Professor at the nearby Missouri State University, was inadvertently run over by a garbage truck driver. Professor Wilborne was on his way back from…
Dear Patients,
Hanging up and calling back is the least likeliest way for you to get me to answer the phone. Just leave a goddamn number and I will call you back. Maybe.
Love,
bleh
Completely Legitimate News: House Speaker Boehner Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place; Gnaws Off Own Arm →
legitimatenews.tumblr.com
Dateline: Washington, D.C.
With the upcoming debt ceiling debacle coming into full swing this week, the Tea Party freshman in Congress who don’t understand what “self-destruct” means, and desperately trying to keep the fact that rich people and corporations have money that could be put to…
God has a 52% approval rating →
religion.blogs.cnn.com
In other news, I slapped my forehead really, really hard and almost broke my glasses just now.
Legitimately Legitimate News: Obama/Carpenters Deadlocked on Raising Desk Ceiling →
legitimatenews.tumblr.com
Dateline: Washington, D.C.
Following a tense night of negotiations, another day will soon pass without a clear resolution on the White House desk ceiling limit. While the economy struggles, with jobs still not being added despite tax breaks for the wealthy, and despite at least two wars…
