Because,Why Not? Podcast Episode 15 “Yo Dog, Ima Hit Dat Shit!”
Lots of fuckery going on this week as the Because, Why Not? Podcast crew (Mike, Jermaine and Scott) knock another one out of the park, while Port is sidelined with the poops and couldn’t make it to the show this week. Hope everything comes out…okay, lol!
On this weeks episode we learn a lot about the inner workings of Mikes brain….RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!! Lots of neat things happening in gaming this week with some big announcements (Assassins Creed 3!!!) and some not so big announcements, or at least ones that kind fell flat (Dragons Age anime). Meteors, warp drives and listener questions are but some of the topics we tackle on The Official GeekVariety.com podcast; Because,Why Not?
Put on your headphones or plug in your idevice and have a listen as we geek the fuck out about all the things that matter to us and that nobody else even gives a shit about :D
DIRECT DOWNLOAD: [HERE]
This weeks episode is dedicated to Ralph McQuarrie, famed concept artist who gave STAR WARS life, and lost his this past week.
Because, Why Not? Play At Home Edition:
WE ALL GONNA DIE!
MARIO BROS PORTALS!
REJECTED STAR WARS ITEMS
DEADLIEST WEAPONS: WARP DRIVE
MEN IN BLACK 3 PREVIEW TRAILER
DRAGON AGE ANIME…yawn
TOPHER GRACE MADE AN 85 MINUTE STAR WARS PREQUEL EDIT?
READ A FREE COMIC BOOK BY “30 DAYS OF NIGHT” AUTHOR STEVE NILES!
ASSASSINS CREED 3 CO-OP BITCHES!!
WHY DO PEOPLE WANNA SEE OTHER PEOPLE FUCK ANIMALS?
HAN SOLO IS CHOCOLATY AND SMOOTH LIKE LANDO NOW!
PRO-STARS WAS A CARTOON, THAT WAS ACTUALLY MADE, UGH.
I, in no way, endorse or support this podcast.
Arriving September 30th 2011…
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Recently I signed up for Gamefly and astoundingly one of the first games that I got was Dead Island. Of course, I got the game yesterday and only had one night to get into it before abandoning it for the bigger game that came out today, but I did really get into it (6 hours or so) so I figure I’d give my opinion on it. Because opinions are fun.
Anyone remember that really poignant commercial that released a few months ago with the little girl zombie and her parents and the real heart-string jerking music? Yeah, this is nothing like that. I called it when I saw that commercial that it would be nothing like that. The “story” of this game is that it looks “like a damned postcard” (actual words spoken in the game by a main character) and zombies are bad and survivors are stupid. The character models suck, the moving is janky, the aiming is off, jumping is pointless, when too much is going on onscreen everything gets laggy regardless, and it takes forever for textures to materialize onscreen. The main characters evoke no kind of emotion besides apathy, and the other NPCs that you encounter are bossy assholes who just want you to go do things for them, like get juice boxes and water and champagne.
That being said, it’s still a really fun game once you get into it. If you can get more than yourself involved, it’s really, really fun. I can’t wait until it drops in price so I can talk some more people into getting it, it’s basically Borderlands with zombies and melee weapons.
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Earlier I wrote an impressions piece on Duke Nukem Forever, giving my thoughts and whatnot about the game probably about halfway through it. Well, I finished.
And yep, Duke Nukem Forever is not a great game. However, it is better than the abysmal impressions shoved onto it from every other review I’ve read prior to playing it. Sure, it’s dated, the “puzzles” are more about figuring out just what the hell is going on and then working from there, the guns have absolutely no weight to them, the writing is atrocious, the voice acting terrible, the sexist, classless, tasteless things Duke says, the godawful load times, and, well, most of the rest of everything. But that doesn’t stop it from being kind of fun at points. Fun enough to slog through everything else to get to them.
The problem I do have with Duke Nukem is that it doesn’t know what it is. It thinks it knows what it is, it comes off acting like it knows what it is, but deep down inside it’s just making it up as it goes along. Worse than that, though, it’s not making it up as it goes along, it’s stealing from everything and pretending that it’s classy. Every movie line that comes out of Duke’s mouth comes off feeling like a six year old pretending to be a movie star. Every mockery of better games comes off like a child desperately boasting to others that look, look, I’m better than these guys, even though that child is currently standing in ten years of shit. Hell, even the blatant rip offs of other, better games is like a kid cheating off a test and then telling the teacher. You know what you’d think of that kid? You’d think, where is that kid’s helmet and when does that tiny bus arrive to pick him up? Sure, he’s fun to play with when the other 13 year old kids are around, what, with him cursing all the time and quoting action movies, but no one really wants to hang out with him.
What we have here is an IP that is all fluff and no substance. And that fluff is all stolen from other things of substance and put together to be sort of an “all cool things” package and it just never quite starts to work. You’ve got Duke being a misogynistic asshole, girl characters being vapid excuses to post tits or gtfo, and enemy characters throwing barrels at you from the top of large objects. Now, when, exactly, was the last time you had to dodge fucking barrels in a game? Especially a FPS? I called the joke by the time I was halfway there, and then had to sit through another load and try it again because, seriously, when was the last time you had to dodge barrels? Or rocks? 10 years ago, when this game should have come out?
Anyway, tl;dr Fun but not good, if you want to play the game this game should have been check out Bulletstorm or I will kill your dick.
And we never spoke of DNF again.
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Meanwhile, in Doug Gross is still an ass video game writer news. (via CNN)
If I am in the fucking shrine it is no longer a lost shrine. If I am going to a well known place it is not lost either.